Friday, August 24, 2007
Listening to :"北极星的眼泪" by Nicholas Zhang Dong LiangMood: DistractedWeather@Sydney: 14 deg, cold.:. [ [ Rather Happening Week ] ].:.
Thank God for: #1 Driving Spree in Sydney Claire (My MOT coursemate who's in the same placement as me at DADHC) & I have been driving between our clients' homes & the office independently over the past 2 weeks when our supervisor decided to leave us pretty much on our home. Although we are not quite sure if she's really allowed to do this but we pretty much got the hang of it - so we handle all our documentation, interventions, visitations all on our own. This week, I got to drive! :) The first attempt was rather unnerving because the car feel was different & the roads we were on were rather narrow, bumpy & steep! Neverthless, by the 3rd try, I even managed to drop her off at her bf's place after a visitation & I drove the car back to the office on my own! It was quite scary because after I dropped her off, I actually took a wrong turn & ended up somewhere else!! Thank God I somehow managed to navigate my way back to the right route ... otherwise goodness knows where I would have ended up!! The road signs here really arent very helpful at all... it's not like in Singapore where a wrong turn can be rectified by U-turning. Here .. there's loads of one way streets & not many U turns .. so one can just end up miles & miles away! Eek .. But, I'm proud to say ... I drove! :) I enjoyed it! :)
Thank God for #2: Meeting a fellow YWAMer!!
I got acquianted with a Korean, Bryan who was a final year Social Work student doing his placement at DADHC. We hit off really well & over the past few weeks we would always sneek in chats whenever we meet. It was a really great surprise for us this week when we realise we are fellow YWAMers!! (Youth with a Mission-er). He attended YWAM back in Korea & was really excited that I had completed my DTS in Singapore. Many of his friends from YWAM are currently serving as missionaries in India, Mongolia etc. Golly .. it's just awsome to talk YWAM talk! :) He was telling me that currently there's close to 50, 000 koreans in Sydney alone ... wow ... talk about a potential mission field! :)
Thank God for #3: An Exuberant, Affectionate & Adorable Niece
"GU GU!!!!!!!!!!!!" I love hearing that shriek everytime I call home! :) The last time round, my niece was telling me she has set aside some pencils to be used only when I return home ... also, there's this game she created entitled "Struggle" (obstacle course around the house) that she says she will only play when I return. Haha ... love her so much. :) Miss her heaps!! :)
Thank God for #4: Good health & perfect function
Not a week goes by as I am engrossed in my studies that I do not feel immense gratitude in my heart for having an abled bodied & having the physical and cognitive ability to carry out any activity I so choose. Although there's still so much for me to learn, I've come to meet so many clients, young ones especially of late where they have little function or mobility. Some were born with the disabilities (e.g. cerebral palsy) ... others were simply struck down suddenly with no reason ... & adults who had a stroke. As I am struggling to remember the various ailments, the effects & how to create & implement interventions, picking up manual handling skills ... I learn to cherish every day when I can mobilise & live an abled life! It's really God's gift & blessing to be able to walk, breathe, function, sleep normally! Being submerged in the world of disability has made me realise how priviledged I truely am.
12:18 PM
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Listening to: "Butterfly" by Kevin KernMood: SweetWeather@Sydney: 18 deg, warm & windy.:. [ [Scrabbled Rambling ] ].:.
Thought 1: I'm feeling really nice, sweet & happy because I am happy to be able to have more lengthly communications with dear of late. It's an awsome thing that it costs only about 1cent per minute to call dear in Singapore using the International calling card. Ironically, it costs me about $1 per minute to call a friend in Sydney! Nevertheless, he always never fails to brighten up my days. I miss him heaps. :( Thought 2: Dear asked me people who have inspired me. Interestingly enough, I never quite tot about it. Although many people have encouraged me some way or another, the first person who came to my mind was unexpectedly a lady called Aunt Kie Liang who was a missionary whom I got to know when I was attending my previous church. She was my missions mentor then & I think the reason why she rose above all those whom I feel inspired me is how she is so cheerful, wise, thoughtful & caring ... despite her singlehood, difficulties being in the missions field & ailing health, I've never never ever heard her "whinching". - like whine or complain. She's always full of laughter & I really used to look forward to the heartwarming letters & little presents like stickers she used to send me wherever she was .. be it on board the ship Doulous or when she was in Central Asia or when she was in London. I must admit I used to take all these sweet thoughtful acts for granted & it's only now that I'm older that I realise how rare it is for people to so consistently & sincerely think of you & take the effort to express it! I love how she is never judgemental but always so encouraging. As I thought about her, I really do miss her. Must find out how to contact her again. I lost touch with her since I left the church so many so many years ago. Terrible me. :( Although I've always like to think of myself as a genuinely nice, sincere & caring person, I've come to realise I would have never have been able to get to where I am today without the seeds of love & care people like Aunt Kie Liang sowed in my life all those years before. I feel for a long while, I was too blinded by disappointment to see the goodness that was around me.. I really must start opening my eyes & heart to embrace what had been given to me, am recieving & work on letting those people who have touched my life know the difference they made! It's been so easy for me to overlook the small things people had invested in me because I always felt I have been so giving. It's funny how it took me so long to really relish that every thought cast in my direction by a friend is a gem in itself!
So, although I do still feel genuinely bewildered why some women feel threatened by me, I really feel I need to work on not focusing on these things I cannot change & cherish what I have. Although I would like to think I dun really whinch over minor things, I feel my whinching meter can be worked on decreasing & handling situations better. Ok .. so more character building to go Ruffie.
Thought 3: Hmm... these couple of weeks have been quite trying because Nancy & Yang are both contemplating leaving the course. Golly .. .what ever am I going to do if both of them leave??
Thought 4: Have you ever thought about the fact that while many people indulge in their food cravings like fast food, chocolates, ice-cream etc resulting in much health & weight issues, the only part of the body that is truely being satisfied in the tongue?? The euphoria one experiences from the tongue savouring the taste & texture is only for a short moment ... the rest of the body has to deal with the consequence afterward! It's rather scary if you think about it... so .. does it mean many people are slaves to their tongues?
Thought 5: Been working out every morning ... I wake up an hour early to do stretching & strength training .. it's been immensely satisfying! I was really amused when I was in the car with a couple of OTs from my attachment & they were all saying that summer time is coming & they all need to get in shape for bikinis!! They were saying about being too white from winter & the extra flab!! There is also lots of commercials on TV these days on slimming centres calling out to people who want to get ready for summer! This is certainly a phenomenon I will never get to see in Singapore!! :)
Thought 6: Yang & I are going on a school trip to the rural regions of Orange & Dubbo the following weekend. All accomodation & food is being paid for & we will be going with 55 other medical students to visit the health care workers & students in those regions ... should be quite interesting!! I hope it comes to pass ...
9:35 AM
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Listening to: "Crazy Times" by Michael BubleMood: Tummy AcheWeather: 15 deg, cold.:+:: A Victorian Looking Entry ::+:.
I'm dozing off. Dozing off while trying to plough through my readings on upper extremity function & management - all the technicality of the anatomical elements, biomechanical explanations for dysfunction and task-based interventions is just .... *coughs* well, suppose to be in my brain somehow. Maybe I can try burning & drinking it .. or sleep on it so that somehow the info transfers into my grey matter through osmosis? Oh well... An interesting phenoemenon that I am processing & reflecting on daily is my spoken communication here in Australia. Back in Singapore, many people have commented that I speak with a "slang". Well... not because I deliberately want to sound "Ang Moh" (in fact I never realised I did till people mentioned it) but I guess in reality I am really a "Banana" notwithstanding from the fact I grew up in an English-speaking church environment, have friends who are as "Jia Kan Tang" as me & quite simply the fact that I love English. When I initially arrived in Sydney, people also commented I didn't sound like a typical Singaporean because apparently, Singaporeans & Malaysians speak with a very strong "accent". Note that it's never mentioned in a positive tone. Some even said I sound American. (???)
So, I was always very wary & cautious when interacting with the locals because somehow, the Aussie accent is so strong, it's hard not to get drawn into it but somehow I feel like I always come out rojak! Its always a fear that I dun get understood because in my line of work, communication excellence is vital be it with clients or colleagues. Hence, it was a true encouragement & relief when my supervisor & lecturers actually told me that my pronunciation is "fantastic" & I speak really good English! Phew! But honestly, it's an irony that I spoke more Chinese here in Sydney than all my years in Singapoe because my main interaction is with my chinese speaking landlady & my Asian classmates! I personally feel accents are a double edged sword because while on one hand, it enables one to assimilate into a particular social setting, yet it will segregate you from another. Hence it might be useful to either have a pocket full of accents so that one can drift from one culture to another seamlessly; or keep a non-accented spoken English that is based on good articulation & pronunciation so that one can adapt to any setting. I would think the latter is more practical! I personally dun hope to pick up the Aussie accent because I find a lot of vowels get swollowed up & not articulated! But I must say the authentic Aussie slangs can be really heartwarming. :) Decided to put up some pics of some lovely purchases I made. One thing I love about Aussie is that they have many beautiful lacy stuffz! I like!! :)My love DUSTBIN!!! Can you believe it?
My gorgeous Tissue Cover! :)
1:55 PM
Friday, August 17, 2007
Listening to: "Crazy Times" by Michael Buble
Mood: Lazy
Weather: 22 deg, warm
.: [ [ Storm in a Tea Cup ] ] :.
Crazy Times. It certainly has been crazy times for me over the past 2 weeks. .:. Storm 1: In school - The Tale of the 2 Horrid Groupmates .:.Day OneBackground: Lecturer A got us to practice in our groups dressing & undressing stroke patients. Actors: Girl 1 - The Arrogant AussieGirl 2 - The Hypocritical Aussie Girl 3 - The frustrated Singaporean (who is me of coz) Girl 4 - The blur Taiwanese Play Script: Lecturer: Ok, everyone you have 30 min to practise in your groups the techniques on dressing & undressing your clients. Girl 1 to Girl 2: (in a very loud voice) You know what? I do this ALL the time where I work. I am an expert in it already. I AM THE BEST. So if you want, you can go teach the other 2 how to do it.Girl 2 to Girl 1: Kewl. Hey, you know how to dress a spinal cord injured person? (imitates posture in a mocking way)Girls 1 & 2 laugh hysterically like hyenas while Girl 3 glares at them appalled & Girl 4 stares blankly. Lecturer: How's it going? (More hyena laughter from the 2 mad women & they continue to fool around).Girl 3 walks away in disgust & joins another group where she enjoyed learning with other girls.Day TwoBackgroundLecturer B is sharing about community / home service.Girl 1 (The Arrogant one) proceeds to share a heartwrenching tale with tears in her eyes..."You know I get so upset when i see the family ill treat the client ... blah blak blah blah" ...One minute she is mocking at patients with such audacity & arrogance, another minute she can weep in compassion for her clients ... talk about crocodile tears!! I realise, that some people enter into the health care profession because it feels good to them to be seen as being "compassionate" for the disabled ... but they treat everyone else around them with no respect or understanding. .:. Storm 2: At Home - my Bazaar Landlady .:. Background: Since we shifted to the new place, my once angelic landlady has become somewhat more nosey, rude, critical & show-off than ever before..:: Scenario One:: I was having dinner, sipping my soup when my landlady suddenly said.. Play Script: Landlady: Ai yo, Nicole Kidman so ugly one! I think that Cameron Diaz also ugly like hell. She got so many wrinkles. Me: Huh? I think they look very nice what. Any woman will have wrinkles when she age one what. (Disclaimer: My landlady is 40 this year & has heaps of wrinkles on her face.)::Scenario Two::I was washing my plates when my landlady suddenly said.. Play Script: Landlady: You know ah, your classmate XXX has such an ugly figure that if I'm her boyfriend I will surely dump her one! Me: *Stumped* But then if the guy like the girl for her figure only then he must be very shallow.Landlady: Yeah, but her figure so disproportionate & she has no dress sense at all one.(Disclaimer: My landlady only saw my friend once a couple of months ago when I had a dinner at my place.)Me: (Controlling myself from saying, "Your figure not nice at all & you yourself have complete no dress sense, why are you always criticising other people???)All these are just bits & pieces amonsgst the acts of banging on my door to abruptly ask me "WHAT ARE YOU DOING", kaypohing comeing into my room to look see look see, shifting my things without asking me, calling my friend "YOU SO FAT NOW! YOUR FACE SO SWOLLEN" when my friend came by for visit. When I was out with her, she was really unhappy my clothes size was smaller than hers .. to her, I'm so tall & she's shorter so I shoul wear bigger size. When I wore an Aussie size 6 pants, she insisted I should wear 10 because she wears a 10. Is she nuts or what? :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Sigh .. okie, I'm tired of discussing tea cup storms ... write more next time.
1:57 PM
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Listening to: "Only You" Lovers in Paris OST
Mood: Smouldering
Weather @ Sydney: 14 deg, Warm
.:. [ [ Oh Disappointment, Where is Thy Sting? ] ] .:.
I am an idealist. Although I've grown significantly more skeptical of people through growing up & working experience, I'm still very much, at heart, someone who wishes to see the world as a reflection of "Care-a-lot" - the cloud-land home of the Care Bears. This seems ironic especially when I've seen much of the ugly side of humanity in the refugee camps, drug addicts infested backlanes etc & also coming to realise the people essentially are self-centred people. People are often depicted as "good" & "bad" but I've concluded that people are essentially on the spectruum of their degree of self-centredness. No one is essentially completely good or bad, it's just how selfish they are, & how they choose to allow this to influence their decisions.
Having said this, I'm still an idealist. I would rather choose to see the good in people, but I feel I'm gradually losing grip of this especially when people keep disappointing. Sometimes it's really hard to come to terms with it, especially when they are close to you. Proverbs 13:12 says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But desire fulfilled is a tree of life".
It has been a disappointing week for me.
To me, sincerity is really important. It's one of the values I hold very dear. In everything I do & in the manner I treat the people around me, I endeavour to do everything with all my heart - with passion & in sincerity. It's the main reason I would never be able to climb the cooperate ladder or succeed in playing the political game because I could never bend over in order to pretend to stroke someone else's ego. If I say something, it's because it comes from my heart. Hence, it bothers me tremendously when people say things in "fluff". But it's also one of the reasons why I love being with young people so much - they may be brash & impulsive, but they are so very often, the most "whole-hearted" & passionate people.
Hence, I've come to realise keeping someone who doesn't share a similar view close to myself is like keeping a thorn in my heart that just keeps tearing & bruising my heart. As lovely as the rose may be, if the thorn exist, I just don't see of how much the rose can be of value. the heart can take just so much of lies, excuses & whinging.
I came across a reading on the Internet regarding disappointment & it was edifying to some degree so shall include it in this blog... cheers
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
..every source of fulfillment we can possibly turn to will in the end be the “broken cisterns” that the prophet Jeremiah once warned us against. Every source of fulfillment that we can possibly go after is doomed at some time, on some level to disappoint us.
Except one. God.
God’s infinite wisdom guarantees that He knows what is best for His children. God’s infinite love guarantees that He will choose what is best for His children, and God’s infinite power guarantees that He will bring to pass without fail what is best for His children. And more than any other type of blessing God can bring to us, our most sweet and lasting fulfillment from God comes from God Himself, the gift of His perfect presence.
God is the one and only source of fulfillment that not only will not disappoint, but cannot disappoint by His very nature.
That is how God is fundamentally and supremely different and superior to any other source of fulfillment we can look to. God both is and will always be able “to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think.” (Ephesians 3:20)
If we know this to be the truth, then let us live it. Let us take every longing, every desire for fulfillment in our souls, and turn away from every broken cistern, turn away from every source that can only end up disappointing in the end, and turn toward our Loving Father in faith and trust that He will never disappoint.
8:25 AM
Friday, August 10, 2007
_-_Courting_Couple_in_a_Rowboat.jpg)
Anita Baker - When You Love Someone
Were we ever, did we use it up too fast
Our great moments never met to last
And the last thing that I want
Is to ever make your smile go away
Keep the memories take the best of what we had
I can't stand to watch what once was great go bad
And if I can't be with you
Then I rather just remember what we knew
When you love someone
And you love them with your heart
And it doesn't disappear if you're apart
When you love someone
And you've done all you can do - you've done all you can
When you set them free
And if that love is true
When you love someone
It will all come back to you
Nights I wondered was I too much that we gave
If we gave in more could we have both been saved
And I guess we have crossed the line
Never knowing what was yours
And what was mine
And through it all, I still have no regrets
Just promise me - promise me
You never will forget - you never will forget
When you love someone
And you have done all you can do
And you set them free and if that love is true
If you love someone, it will all come back to you
9:12 AM
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Listening to: "Love Yogurt" by JJ LinMood: Happy Happy HappyWeather@Sydney: 19 deg, Great!.:. [ [ A Church to Settle Down in & Great New Friends!! ]] .:.
I feel so happy so happy so happy today! :) For two main reasons: One - I finally found a church I can forsee myself settling down in after a semester long hunt. Two - I made two new Singaporean Christian friends - really great gals who are also studying in my campus. God is really awsome! :) Ironically, the church I most likely will settle down in is an Anglican church - St. Barnabas Anglican Church. The service structure & fellowship style is very similar to my ex-church in Singapore - a Lutheran Church. After shifting to Trinity Christian centre over the past 4 yrs, it's funny how eventually I'm still more drawn to a traditional liturgical based small fellowship based church. Those who know me from my previous church would most likely gasp at this confession ... huh? Lixian? Liturgical? Did the sun rise from from the west? Ok ok!! I admit!! I'm getting old!! I actually enjoy listening to scriptures being read. I actually enjoy singing more hymn like songs. I actually enjoy going through the apostle prayer & benediction! I actually enjoy listening to sermon which are focused on the Word - & not having scriptures scripted into social issue sermons to beef it's credibility or charasmatic preachers boasting about their achivements & vision! Alright .. I am getting old. Haha .. but, hey! :) All that hand raising, speaking in tongue, passion for missions & music ministry stuff hasn't been lost .. it's just .. I like the feeling of being more grounded I guess ... part of the process of being more than a quarter way into the grave I suppose .. hmmm .. a little too morbid here eh? :) So ... for those who have been watching out for me spiritually .. many heartfelt thanks ... lets see how things go from here eh? :) Secondly, I got to know a Singaporean girl, Jia Yu, who's in her 4th yr speech therapy through another Singaporean girl, Angela, I got to know by concidence... rather complicated. But the bottomline is. they are really nice, genuine, dilligent & gorgeous girls! Coincidentally, we are all from Nanyang Primary. Talk about an alumni! :) Angela introduced me to Jia Yu to bring me to her church instead because Angela attends a chinese church. Jia Yu & I really got along real well ... well, having common interests in eating & shopping definitely helped... along with the fact she stays really near me!! Wow ... and also, there are a lot of people from OCF (overseas christian fellowship - uni of sydney) in my church so I might just see how my schedule goes & see I can commit to something! :) Ah .. .another matter of interest is I got to visit the only Burmese restaurant in Sydney with a friend yesterday evening. Well, it is apparently very very popular but I didn't quite like the food. Mainly because I've actually been to Myanamar & tasted the authentic cuisine .. the one here really cannot make it. I still think the Burmese restuarant at the basement of Peninsular Plaza in Singapore is fantastic!! Can't wait to go back & try! :)
Oh another thing .. my ears are blocked again! Golly .. I dun know why I've this chronic blocked ear thing. The last time I was @ the docs, he said my ears were 90% blocked... since being in Sydney, I never really took particular notice of my ears until a couple of days ago when I was on the phone with dear.. I noticed could hear him very clearly with my right ear, but when I changed over to my left ear .. I could hardly hear anything @ all!! It was all very frightening! Golly ... so bought a ear wax solution today .. hopefully it helps!
Ah ... what a awesome weekend! :) I feel really happy .. Jia Yu & I went shopping today after church .. toiletries plus groceries? Fantastic combination! :) Ta! :)
2:00 PM
Friday, August 03, 2007
Listening to: "Love Yogurt" by JJ Lin
Mood: Tummy ache from eating too much tang yuan Weather@Sydney: 14 deg, wet.:. [ [ Yet Another Week Has Flown By ] ] .:.
+.:.+.:.+.:.+.:.+.:.+.:.+.:.+.:.+
To laugh often and much,
To win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children,
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and
Endure the betrayal of false friends,
To appreciate beauty,
To find the best in others,
To leave the world a bit better,
whether by a healthy child,
A garden patch ...
To know even one life has breathed easier
Because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded!!
+.:.+.:.+.:.+.:.+.:.+.:.+.:.+.:.+
I came across the above whilst at the airport waiting to board the plane to Singapore & really liked it. I think it illustrates my perspective of success very aptly. To me, it's important to keep growing as person & to be able to make a difference in other people's lives in a positive way. Life is really short, we will never get to live "yesterday" again so I've come to treasure each & every day that I have.
This week has been a pretty regular week. I enjoyed my placement this week because I got to start planning the intervention for the client assigned to me. The only thing of pity was when we went to his house to meet him, due to a communication breakdown between me & the mom who spoke bare minimal English with a very heavy Italian accent, he was actually @ work! The ironic thing was that we spent more time traveling to & from his house than at his place becoz he stays in a rural part of Sydney. My supervisor was real nice & told us it's just part & parcel of our job.
I was contemplating if I should get a laser printer which costs only about $90 (Fujitsu-Xerox) which would be more convinent than printing in school which costs me 10 cts per page. In the end, I was still deliberating because it's really difficult to haul the thing home by rail. I shall see..
I was really really really upset on Monday during class because I got put into a group for the module with 2 of the people I absolutely detest the most in my class. One is real arrogant & the other is so hypocritical. They treat the other girl (who is also Asian) & me like we were idiots & morons. They dismiss everything we say like rubbish & seem to only like the sound of their own voice. I need a lot of faith to imagine that someday these people with such obnoxious behavior will be a good OT. I really need God in my emotions .. otherwise I will not benefit from the module, cept from earning a couple more wrinkles & entering heaps more angry blogs! I try really hard not to take it personally that their behavior is so appalling - apparently the arrogant is really disliked by a lot of my classmates as well .. but I'm only human ... a nice little person who used to try to keep smiling at everybody but these two women ... I dun even bother. Social suicide I know .. .. i need a better strategy!
My landlady bought a new set of furniture over last weekend that cost a bomb! Well, it certainly made the place feel more like home I guess but the furniture is so new I hardly bear to even sit on them.. haha. :) I dun know why but she has been extremely critical of people's appearance this semester.. well.. she says nicole kidman, paris hilton, cameron diaz are "ugly like hell" .. amongst others. It really gets on my nerves everytime she keeps commenting on how ugly people are .. & I just have to restrain myself to say something back. Usually i either keep quiet or just say things like," really? i think he/she looks fine." which makes her unhappy. I hope she isn't hitting menopause soon! although i cant control or change her, but I really feel we shouldn't be overly critical of other people's appearance well simply for the fact, dun do unto others what u dun want others to do to u. I mean doesn't it feel better on our own souls to be generous and genuinely compliment someone else? I believe there is always something beautiful in every one .. unless that person has a horrid horrid character.. :(
This week's weather turned surprisingly warm - around 22 deg on wed .. the highest for august since 1970 apparently. However, it's predicted the weather will turn cooler again the next week. Well now, I shall have to go back to studying now. Ta! :)
2:35 PM
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