Listening to: My Lovely Sam Soon OST "She is"
Reading: Cleo September 2006
Mood: Mixed

Ok, before I start, just let me say this: CSI rawks, totally ... yeah.

School reopened again this week .. & man it's been so eventful it really feels like it's been four months, not four days.

:: Things & Events that brought me joy::

1) My buddy Nicholas actually went to rent CSI Season 5 for me on his own initiative!!! Thanks so much buddy - you are the absolute best!! I was elated when he arrived at my place with the set of Season 5 CSI DVDs & watching those 28 episodes have definitely been the highlight of this entire week! I lurveee CSI! Pass the violence, sex & gore, it just ingenius ... there have definitely been some really great episodes this season especially the last 2 when Nick got kidnapped & buried alive.. I actually cried as I followed the plot closely ... at the edge of my seat!! Can't wait to watch Season 6!! Yipee ... CSI is the best! I love Grisom & Greg - they top my list of favourite characters.

2) Ivan gave me a jazz CD during the holidays & made a trip specially down to school just to put it on my table as a surprise ... & I found out only on the first day of school! :) I was so touched! Thanks Ivan!!! really enjoyed listening to the album! *lol* My colleague was asking me why a young person like me is listening to post WWII music & that made me burst into laffter!

It really made my day to know my 2 dear friends thought of me in the midst of their busy lives! Hee ... <",>

:: Things & Events that made me depressed ::

GB makes me depressed .. no, specifically GB Henderson makes me depressed. I have always loved GB since I first joined GB as a Sec one girl while attending Nanyang Girls' High. Those dayz, my company back in Nanyang went through much difficulty but it made those of us who were serving as leaders become strong & indepedent. I'm glad to say that all of the NCOs from my batch are now serving in leadership position in church one way or another. Armed with an A1 for my CCA & a Warrant Officer as my rank then, I actually never really tot I would serve God again in GB until I chose teaching as my career & I chose GB as the CCA I wanted to take.

Everybody then thought I was nuts ... no teacher in their right mind ever volunteers to take up a UG coz it takes up so much more time & effort then other CCAs. I had to go through the past 3 years pretty much alone in school, having to suffer from other collagues making unjust remarks & worse of it all, having students making insensitive, ungrateful, selfish, thoughtless remarks about me .. & the sad thing is .. these students come from GB.

Student: "We did not like you when you took over GB because you were from GB so you will make it more difficult for us to get promoted"

Me: Hello? You get promoted when you truely deserve it! You want to be called a leader when you can't even lead your own life, much less others? You stroll slowly from program to program, you can't even hold yourwself confidently.. you think you deserve to be a leader? Who was it who had to persuade the rest you should be promoted & given your CCa points & award? Who had to go all the way down to GBHQ in Kovan just to persuade & convince them you deserve a chance & be given your award? Have you ever spared a thought for me? Have you ever thanked me for the chances I have given you? Yes, I was a Warrant Officer, I led even before you were in primary school & I come from a top end school .. so? Why can't you freaking be humble enough to realise you are not that good & need to improve & learn? Why do you think I owe you anything?

Student: "You always scold us ... not like xxx who always talk nicely to us."

Me: I scold you? You haven't seen me really get freaking angry yet & totally make you feel like you are not human worth existing on this earth yet.. you want to see me get really angry? You give black face all the time, your drill completely sucks, you walk so slowly during GB time, sulk & pull long face when told off, have no initiative or sense of responsibility whatsoever, you insult & slander against those who are doing well in GB to make them feel despised & lousy ... who do you think you are? Why don't you come & be the teacher-in-charge of GB .. so shall I recommend you to be the chairwoman of GB the country club where all the girls do nothing but do manicure & pedicure & brush their hair like bimbos? BTW, if you think the other teacher is so great .. how come you are talking bad about her behind her back too? What's wrong with you?

Student: "I don't like Ms Ruth Lee. I am so glad she is leaving."

Me: You know what? Students like you make me hate teaching, hate GB & don't want to have kids. You are a nightmare & a virus to this earth. You destroy any form of passion, love & hope I have for the next generation. I am so glad not to have to see you again. Good riddance to you!

Student: "You see, I knew that Ms Ruth Lee will not drive us there." " Where are you Ms Lee? We want you to drive us to XXX "

Me: Excuse me, since when have I become your personal taxi driver? You want me to freaking drive you to Orchard Caffour just so that you can buy some plastic utensils & plates? Where is your conscience? You think because I own a car I owe it to you to drive you around? You want to pay my $80 per week petrol plus ERP plus car park fees plus maintenance fees plus thousand dollar annual road tax? You think just because I dun drive you around I am not nice? Why are you so damn rude? Don't your parents teach you to be respectful, grateful & polite? I have picked up your seniors from their house to go out before, fetched them from Bt Timah all the way to Bt Merah when I myself live in Bt Timah & never got any thanks, drove you girls from school to KFC & ended up we teachers were late for Oral exams ... WHERE IS YOUR CONSCIENCE?? Why don't you start caring about me for once? On teachers' day, I teared because the Girl Guides went up to their Teacher-in-charge & nicely wished her Happy Teachers' Day , they created a huge card of appreciation for their teachers when they attained Gold. My girls? On teachers' day ask me to fetch them around & were upset I didn't make announcement that day. A card of thanks? What card?

God ... where is the love?